Published March 16, 2006
I don’t want to be frank
It’s not like me be blunt
Not like me take stabbing attempts
At wounded, young innocents
But I’m tired
And I’ve wasted grains of sand
Listening to you
You’ve whipped me with your problems
I’m burning black and blue
Red and raw and the essence
Of something more than truth
You may be marrow
Screeching in my bone
You may be bloodstream
Oxygen and muscle tone
But you are unhealthy –
You breed virus, disease and leprosy
And, frankly, I’d be better off alone
Get out of my dreams
I enjoy my fantasies
When their lacking you,
The chains,
The youth that holds me down
I’m resting and so you roll my over
Haunting me
Please set me free
So frankly, please get off my land
I’d rather be alone,
Then holding hands
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141,258 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
The first stanza is especially good, particularly the last four lines. The second stanza is excellent, the third is decent. But the ending is a little weak, it seems like you could finish this off a little stronger, to make the reader connect more. I love your rhyme scheme, and your ideas area more than a little original. Overall this is completely excellent.